For Plucks Sake

Ever since the scene between Ironman and Star-Lord in Marvel's Infinity War, the word plucky has stuck with me. To be plucky is to be brave, feisty, spunky and show determined courage amidst difficult times. How could I not be attracted to such a fun yet powerful word? I have always been intrigued by those people who display great valor and resiliency. Those who have experienced tremendous hardships and loss, but who have not allowed that to turn them cold; instead, they fan the flames that consume them until they're entirely engulfed, and from their ashes be reborn just like the mythical phoenix. 

Life has several inevitabilities and one of them is that no one is exempt from experiencing hardships. Not one soul goes through this life unscathed. We will all come face-to-face with something that shakes us to our core and hopefully transforms us for the better. It is because of these inevitable tough experiences, that I am enamored with those who can make the most out of any given situation. 

So, this is when self-righteousness may begin to peek its judgmental schnoz. We start to point and compare life experiences and begin to rate hardships. Stop right there... cause each one of us was brought up in an extremely unique family dynamic, raised in different environments, exposed to a distinct culture, experienced incomparable core memories (which includes personal traumas) and born with our very own distinctive traits. What seems feasible for some, may seem impossible for another. There is no universal measurement of how bad someone had it or who had it worse. Hardships are one hundred percent personal and nonetheless something that we need to learn how to be empathetic about. 

By the same token, we will never truly understand something until it happens to us. 

Friend A: You're exaggerating, friend; it's not that deep. 
Friend B: Why do you judge a pain you haven't lived?

Meaning, I did not fully understand death and the importance of being present at funerals, until I was sitting front row at my dad's service. Before this, I did not like attending funerals, but being on that front row made me realize the importance of being there for someone who just lost a loved one. 

Meaning, I did not completely understand compromise, until I met the love of my life. Before meeting my husband, I was going on 12 years of dating and being single, so I could not understand those women who would give up so much in order to make it work. Wait, I still don't agree with giving up your individuality for someone, but I do understand now the importance of compromise in a relationship especially when each one comes with their own baggage, perspectives and love language. 

Meaning, I did not truly understand infertility and miscarriages, until my husband and I began our own journey of trying to conceive. Before all this, I'd hear Invitro and miscarriages and was like okay; but let me tell you why I empathize on a deeper, more personal level with all those struggling with infertility. Because our journey thus far includes about 800+ injections (that I've administered), numerous doctor visits in McAllen/ Houston/ Matamoros/ Corpus/ Reynosa, two failed IUIs, endured two heartbreaking miscarriages in August 2022 👼🏻 & March 2023 👼🏻, getting our hopes up every single month for about 39 months only to repeat with hopeful tears: "Maybe next month"... and then as soon as I overcame my torturous D&C recovery, we decided to give Invitro a try only for it to be unsuccessful as well. We definitely have a newfound respect and admiration for women who have gone through invitro, because it is one TOUGH ass journey to embark on... mentally, emotionally, physically and financially. 

I have also learned that comments such as "you can always adopt" or "a baby should be a blessing from God" are utterly insensitive and ignorant especially if it's coming from someone who already has children. You have no idea the profound desire some women have of conceiving their own baby. It is unfathomable. And to quote Brené Brown, "If you're not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I'm not interested in your feedback." 

Like the Avengers: Endgame though, we have literally done "Whatever It Takes." Tell me how can we possibly lose hope when this is the deepest, most driven desire we've cultivated together? It has only drawn us closer and made our love, admiration and appreciation stronger!  

And to come full circle, no one is exempt from experiencing hardships. Yes, life can be tough as hell, but it's what we do with the cards we are dealt with. Don't forget about what you already have that you prayed for and that what you have, someone may yearn for & vice versa. You can't always get what you want, but you can ALWAYS do your absolute best.

We are all fighting different battles, and no one is coming out alive anyways, so might as well make the best of it. 

"Life is not the party you imagined, but we're already here... so let's dance!"

Have yourself a good cry, pick yourself up, accept the things that you cannot change, make bold prayers, embrace the lessons, continue waking up with a grateful heart and keep on ROCKIN' N' ROLLIN', BABY! 

And for plucks sake... ¡Con Todo, Pa'Todo y En Todo!