Friday, September 4, 2015

A Cheater's Sorrow

Every time I hear someone say that all men are the same, I cringe! I cannot bash men because I have four brothers and each one of them is amazing. Also, education and open-mindedness does not allow for me to generalize in such a way. Men will be as amazing as one visualizes them to be and vice versa. 

Of course men complain about women as well and that's because no one is exempt from encountering bitter or heartbreaking experiences. Bottom line, we attract whatever we give out. We must be able to offer what we ourselves ask for. We attract our reflection for the most part and some other times people are just jerks. There's always a silver lining in every encounter we have with contrast though, because it allows for us to feel more, want more and expand deliciously.


In retrospect, whenever we were farthest away from alignment and our own desires, it was when we made the worst decisions and attracted what we least wanted.

It's safe to say that one of the things we have the least tolerance for is the lack of honesty in a relationship. When a friend talks about their cheating and lying ex-boyfriend (or ex-girlfriend) it makes our blood boil and it’ll make everyone an empath even if just for that brief moment. 

Why is it so difficult for some people to be honest and upfront? For some it comes so easy and natural, for others not so much. I feel as if writing about this topic has been way past due because it’s something I hear a lot about and therefore I wanted to put my two cents (2¢) in by shining a bit of light on this.

First of all, we can sense almost immediately when someone is being shady and we feel offended by it because it's disrespectful. It's like they're insulting our intelligence by feeding us a ton of bull. The being lied to and cheated on is trifling in varying degrees of intensity depending on our life experience with it.

There are so many reasons why people decide to use deceit instead of honesty and quite frankly, it's for the most part due to unresolved issues. They're going about life with an empty oxygen tank and an unstable foundation. Instead of taking it personally and being offended by it, feel compassion because it's for the most part an underdeveloped personality trait or the lack of virtue; because honestly, honesty is a very attractive and precious virtue.

As we evolve and continue to become more emotionally intelligent, we shouldn't let this bring us down because we should know by now that it is always about them and never about you. I repeat, anything done against you is NEVER about YOU, it's about THEM.


In order to be more accepting, it helps to look at the big picture, so let's break down the reasons why people lie or cheat:


1) They don't have the courage or integrity to confront and resolve the situation, so they rather cheat or do things behind the shade. 

2) They aren't happy with their current life experience so they rather embellish it or downright lie.

3) They are far from where they want to be so they are acting out of desperation and frustration.

"The liar's punishment is, not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else." -George Bernard Shaw

Isn’t that sad? We tend to feel bad for the one who got lied to, but in reality something more viciously hurtful is happening within the deceitful. They aren’t happy with themselves or with their life. Because, why would a genuinely happy person lie if they're loving life and spreading goodness? Only someone who isn’t happy with some aspect of their life would feel the need to lie. They are sorrowful souls in distress because they suffer the liar’s punishment. Doesn’t it make more sense to accept them and wish them well? 

“The red flag to be really precise is… lying. If someone lies, then they’re fundamentally not interested in being genuine or truthful or being present. They’re fundamentally more interested in being right. (There is perhaps a special level of lying within an intimate relationship—not a white lie, but a habit of lying to one you're closest to.) That leads to the green flag, the ultimate green flag is... someone in the relationship has to be the first one to give an inch; if they are willing to have a sense of humor and flexibility like that saying that bamboo is so strong because it is willing to bend.” -Waylon Lewis, Elephant Journal

Accept them but then move on because you’re not a vibrational match to their dissonance. Align to your own desires, attract your match, be flexible with each other and indulge in each other’s depth and substance that each of your divine selves has the potential of radiating.

Regardless, the contrast is what provides us with the most delicious expansion. So what if you've been cheated on, it only led to liberation and the shooting of more rockets of desires. Love & Live On! ♥