For Plucks Sake

Ever since the scene between Ironman and Star-Lord in Marvel's Infinity War, the word plucky has stuck with me. To be plucky is to be brave, feisty, spunky and show determined courage amidst difficult times. How could I not be attracted to such a fun yet powerful word? I have always been intrigued by those people who display great valor and resiliency. Those who have experienced tremendous hardships and loss, but who have not allowed that to turn them cold; instead, they fan the flames that consume them until they're entirely engulfed, and from their ashes be reborn just like the mythical phoenix. 

Life has several inevitabilities and one of them is that no one is exempt from experiencing hardships. Not one soul goes through this life unscathed. We will all come face-to-face with something that shakes us to our core and hopefully transforms us for the better. It is because of these inevitable tough experiences, that I am enamored with those who can make the most out of any given situation. 

So, this is when self-righteousness may begin to peek its judgmental schnoz. We start to point and compare life experiences and begin to rate hardships. Stop right there... cause each one of us was brought up in an extremely unique family dynamic, raised in different environments, exposed to a distinct culture, experienced incomparable core memories (which includes personal traumas) and born with our very own distinctive traits. What seems feasible for some, may seem impossible for another. There is no universal measurement of how bad someone had it or who had it worse. Hardships are one hundred percent personal and nonetheless something that we need to learn how to be empathetic about. 

By the same token, we will never truly understand something until it happens to us. 

Friend A: You're exaggerating, friend; it's not that deep. 
Friend B: Why do you judge a pain you haven't lived?

Meaning, I did not fully understand death and the importance of being present at funerals, until I was sitting front row at my dad's service. Before this, I did not like attending funerals, but being on that front row made me realize the importance of being there for someone who just lost a loved one. 

Meaning, I did not completely understand compromise, until I met the love of my life. Before meeting my husband, I was going on 12 years of dating and being single, so I could not understand those women who would give up so much in order to make it work. Wait, I still don't agree with giving up your individuality for someone, but I do understand now the importance of compromise in a relationship especially when each one comes with their own baggage, perspectives and love language. 

Meaning, I did not truly understand infertility and miscarriages, until my husband and I began our own journey of trying to conceive. Before all this, I'd hear Invitro and miscarriages and was like okay; but let me tell you why I empathize on a deeper, more personal level with all those struggling with infertility. Because our journey thus far includes about 800+ injections (that I've administered), numerous doctor visits in McAllen/ Houston/ Matamoros/ Corpus/ Reynosa, two failed IUIs, endured two heartbreaking miscarriages in August 2022 👼🏻 & March 2023 👼🏻, getting our hopes up every single month for about 39 months only to repeat with hopeful tears: "Maybe next month"... and then as soon as I overcame my torturous D&C recovery, we decided to give Invitro a try only for it to be unsuccessful as well. We definitely have a newfound respect and admiration for women who have gone through invitro, because it is one TOUGH ass journey to embark on... mentally, emotionally, physically and financially. 

I have also learned that comments such as "you can always adopt" or "a baby should be a blessing from God" are utterly insensitive and ignorant especially if it's coming from someone who already has children. You have no idea the profound desire some women have of conceiving their own baby. It is unfathomable. And to quote Brené Brown, "If you're not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I'm not interested in your feedback." 

Like the Avengers: Endgame though, we have literally done "Whatever It Takes." Tell me how can we possibly lose hope when this is the deepest, most driven desire we've cultivated together? It has only drawn us closer and made our love, admiration and appreciation stronger!  

And to come full circle, no one is exempt from experiencing hardships. Yes, life can be tough as hell, but it's what we do with the cards we are dealt with. Don't forget about what you already have that you prayed for and that what you have, someone may yearn for & vice versa. You can't always get what you want, but you can ALWAYS do your absolute best.

We are all fighting different battles, and no one is coming out alive anyways, so might as well make the best of it. 

"Life is not the party you imagined, but we're already here... so let's dance!"

Have yourself a good cry, pick yourself up, accept the things that you cannot change, make bold prayers, embrace the lessons, continue waking up with a grateful heart and keep on ROCKIN' N' ROLLIN', BABY! 

And for plucks sake... ¡Con Todo, Pa'Todo y En Todo! 

Thirty (ish)

Looking back at my wild twenties feels almost ancient to me. I have to admit that I was a little worried that I was never going to get tired of all the partying. Who would have thought that I would now be spending almost all of my free time attached to my husband’s hip and drinking once in a blue moon? Laura Luzbeth Coria so devoted to her husband and turning down drinks? Y’all better believe it… I love this guy more than I ever thought possible and drinking is just not as enticing when you’re trying to stay fit. I strongly desire and envision myself being a self-sufficient, devoted mother (just like my Momma) and am grateful that when the time comes to be a mom, I won’t have those “wild 20” cravings because I have truly gotten them out of my system already; thank goodness!

Even though our twenties are so fun and carefree, there is something undeniably and incredibly enjoyable about being in our thirties; well, that's until I got to the total game changers... 35 and 36! My, oh, my, have these been some tumultuous years. Would these years be considered early midlife crisis?  

When I decided to move to a small town to be with my then-boyfriend-now-hubby that was perhaps one of the biggest leaps of faith I had ever taken. We weren't engaged yet and I had never lived with a guy before, mostly because I had avoided serious relationships for about 12 years. Also, what would a small town life be like for someone who has always thrived with that hustle and bustle lifestyle? But of course I was up for the challenge! Although I have always prided myself with my ability to adapt to new environments without completely assimilating and being able to maintain my essence, it has not been as easy as I thought it would be. The complexities of love and relationships alone are a lot of work... and then add work stress, vicarious trauma from counseling students, being away from family & friends, a global pandemic, multiple deaths in the family and then also dealing with heartbreaking infertility (that is a whole other story). It’s been an extremely heavy period in my life, but filled with important life lessons and definitely humbling at the same time. 

 

One thing that hasn't change for me is my love for traveling. I’ve had my fair share of solo travels, but now I LOVE traveling with my husband and cannot wait to take our future babies on adventures (that we pray God blesses us with eventually). Traveling is essential because it broadens your horizons and is genuinely the best education you can get. To me a good life is a life well-traveled. When my husband and I were dating we made a deal that if we were going to live in little Agua Dulce, we had to travel as much as we could possibly fit in our busy schedule; and we are beyond grateful that together we’ve been able to visit 12 different states other than Texas and six foreign countries. And finally after living here for four years, I can honestly say that I love coming back to our peaceful home in the middle of nowhere; because even after all my travels, Texas is our favorite place to come home to. Texas IS Home.

You think that by 30 you will have learned the lessons from all of your “mistakes” or have healed from all your past wounds; and, I’m 30 (ish) and still learning new lessons as well as still healing from past hurts. You will come across similar situations that you hadn't quite fully overcome in your younger years, and it will trigger dormant feelings that you thought no longer existed within you. The point is to practice self-awareness and keep yourself in check.

Regardless, it's about being appreciative of all the learning and healing we’ve experienced thus far. Getting older means being even more selective about everything in general; but it's awesome knowing that we go through a continuous metamorphosis and shed off old misconceptions and naive mindsets while at the same time feeling more complete than ever.

Do not be merely surviving and going through the motions of life by relying on adaptive survival/coping mechanisms. Perhaps you didn’t partake in enough self-discovery or risk-taking in your twenties? Well, it's never too late to start! Please don't just point out the flaws in everyone else without focusing on your own. It can also be because denial and ignorance are bliss, since accepting the reality will be much too painful, require too much courage and/ or work. Life is an ongoing journey of growth though; we must continue to keep learning, improving and growing. We will continue to bump into new situations and encounter contrast because it is needed in order for us to shoot new rockets of desire and expand wonderfully. Trust the Process. 

I’m far from my years of medicating hurts or disappointments; less band-aiding and more digging deep to find the roots which need tending to. I’ve learned that no matter what I’ve been through, I’m glad that at least the harm was self-inflicted and I didn’t hurt others. I know we are all self-righteous, but God knows my heart and therefore my cup runneth over endlessly. I love how sincere and honest I am especially because it’s my favorite thing to see in others. I have been in many situations that have “tested” me and I have proudly and courageously stayed true to myself. Life feels extra sweet when you haven’t compromised your integrity in order to obtain something you desire.

At this point in my life, I have experienced a wide array of hardships and failures as well as successes and accomplishments. And I’m at a point in my life... where I’ve partied plenty to the point where I don’t need it anymore because I've upgraded my priorities; where I think about my health much more so that I have a better chance of living longer; where I can honestly say I don’t need to hear an “I’m sorry” in order to forgive (forgetting is the issue); where I’ve learned to accept and even point out my own faults; where I’ve become more tolerant with others and truly put an effort in seeing their positive aspects; where compassion & understanding are KEY but also keeping our distance from toxic people who are intrinsically unhappy and malicious beings; where I've learned to modify my habits which have improved my overall health; where I’ve come full circle with my renewed faith in God; where mainly and most importantly, I feel empowered knowing that I have the capacity to change whatever no longer serves me in order to continue expanding and becoming that woman I envisioned myself growing into... it was gonna happen at some point! We can only get better and better! I not only want this for myself, but also so that my future babies have a healthy mother who has a better chance of living longer for them, who is devoted to them, who is happy, who loves herself, who is kind, who is honest, who is faithful, who is fun, who takes them traveling and who is a disciplined role model that leads by example. 

I’m beginning to get the hang of "adulting". Even though life is not a competition, we all get sucked into this rat race of wanting more than we need in order to compete and be "better" than others; instead MOTIVATE, INSPIRE & UPLIFT each other! Tune into your own rhythm because everyone has their own beat. Enjoy the unique dance your life choreographs just for you. We all have an expiration date, so smile at the fact that since you know you’re going to die you’re going to make it your dominant intent to fill your life with beautiful memories of smiling, loving, laughing, doing good, being grateful and doing what makes you happy! 

Travel Tips & Traveling FAQs

Because instead of a quinceñera, I wanted to travel; and I thank my parents for making my first trip to Italy & France possible at the age of 15! The thought of seeing my parents struggle to pay what they felt necessary to fulfill a tradition (no thank you), was not something I envisioned and have always been too considerate to accept. To each their own, pero yo Laura Luzbeth Coria-Herrera, just saw much more excitement in traveling the world than to be a princess for a night dressed up in a pink poofy dress (grew up with four older bros too so like nah bro) and also because I've always had a tendency for unconventionality. 

And boy am I grateful for that experience because I have been consumed by wanderlust ever since! I have been bitten by an infectious, yet extremely satisfying, travel bug that puts me in all kinds of wanderful spells. I continuously want more and can't get enough! It's like the Pringles commercial: "Once you pop, you can't stop!"

I want to add that my oldest nephew and niece both opted for a trip to Europe (in 2014 and 2019) instead of a quince or a Sweet 16th; I'm one PROUD Tía! I have always been passionate about traveling that's why I was determined to organize five educational tours for my students and family. I have been fortunate to take my nephew, niece, mother, a Tía, my husband and several students to Spain, Italy, France, Greece, Monaco, Costa Rica and New York City! Traveling is definitely the best education... and the best way to celebrate and enjoy your vacations! 

So as I continue acquiring experience as a travelette, I want to share some travel tips/ reminders that I wish I knew about before and also provide answers to those frequently asked questions I get from family and friends.  

***(DRUM ROLL, s'il vous plait)***

Tip #1: Start searching flights as soon as you feel an itch to travel! How early should you look into flights? It is usually best within 7 to 12 weeks for domestic flights and more than 14 weeks for international flights. Shoot to book early, but keep in mind that too early can also be as expensive as booking too late. What day is best to book on? Tuesdays are ideal for booking but mainly just aim for mid-week! Although, if you're feeling spontaneous you'll disregard this tip and let your instincts take over; as long as you TRAVEL, it's all gouda! 

Tip #2: I wish someone had told be about getting a travel card before! Although my first choice was Barclay's and I got denied, my second choice (United Airlines) approved me for credit and I've enjoyed so many perks as a card member. I'd recommend to do some research first about which travel card has the best to offer at-the-moment before you apply. For example, I applied to Barclay's first because according to my research and recommendations it was the best at that time plus I liked that I was going to be able to get miles from various airlines; BUT, since I got turned down I started to compare my airline experiences along with airline prices and felt United Airlines was the best fit for me. I have friends who enjoy the American Airlines and Southwest Airlines travel cards, so find one that best fits your preferences! 

Update 2022: I am on the brink of canceling my United Card after about 9 years! Just because a card worked for you at one point, doesn't mean it will always be the best bet. The annual fee and the weak reward system compared to the competition was the reason for my decision. Thank you, it's been good... but Bye! ✌

The bottom line is that travel cards create more travel opportunities and incentives. 

What I loved* about my United MileagePlus Explorer Card is: 

1. My first checked luggage is free!
2. Priority boarding! 
3. No fees on foreign transactions!
4. I received 30,000 bonus miles when I spent $1,000 in the first 3 months I opened my account.  This was enough for a free round-trip but I ended up using the miles for an expensive night at a hotel for my bro's bachelor party weekend. So, I love how I can use miles however I want!
5. I earn 2 miles per $1 spent on tickets purchased from United and earn 1 mile per $1 spent on all other purchases.
6. Each year I receive two United Club passes, which honestly I just started to use, and WOWZERS! WHAT A TREAT! In the United Club lounge I enjoy complimentary beverages (including house beer and house wine), snacks, comfy sofa chairs, free Wi-Fi and much more which I will check out on my next stay.

Now that I've stayed in the United Club lounge, I don't think I can go back to regular seats by the gate. I'm kidding! Although I love that high-class feeling, I do have a picture to prove I'm not always about that hoity-toity, pretentious lifestyle! 

Instead of renting a hotel, my cousin and I slept at the (BUF) Buffalo Niagara International Airport for a few hours. 

This brings me to tip número tres. 

Tip #3: Try and purchase a NECK PILLOW! A neck pillow is PERFECT for traveling because sometimes you just gotta get some zzz's wherever you are! I recommend a neck pillow you can clip on to your backpack.  

Trust me, I've slept in so many random places and I'm so thankful for this little guy!

Tip #4: Carry a blanket! You never know if the plane ride or the airport will be freezing and it's better going prepared. I'd recommend carrying one that you can roll up easily and fit in your backpack. 

Tip #5: No drinks or coffee before entering security check! Don't bother spending on overpriced airport bottled water or coffee before security check because they're going to make you throw it away! Just recently I had forgotten I had a can of coconut water in my purse and while I waited in line I chugged it down cause it's way too good to throw away! 

Lately I've been carrying an empty bottle that as soon as I pass security check I fill up with free H2O so I can stay hydrated and also avoid paying for overpriced airport bottled water! 

Tip #6: What exactly can you carry-on? The weight and dimensions of your carry-on luggage depends on the airline. So here's a Web site that shows what's allowed on each airline: http://travel-made-simple.com/carry-on-size-chart/ 

I usually travel with two personal items (a purse and a backpack) and regardless, anything you carry on will all be subject to TSA's 3.4-ounce limit. Make sure that the liquids you have with you are 3.4 oz or less and in a Ziploc. Just like the bottled water and coffee, if your liquids don't comply with this they are going in the trash!

Tip #7: What can I carry in my checked luggage? You can pretty much pack anything you feel you absolutely need. Now, if there's something you feel may not be allowed I recommend calling the airline beforehand because if you have to ask, then it's probably questionable for them too. Remember that your checked luggage will be screened and can be subject to physical inspection if something looks suspicious. You don't want to open your luggage and find it torn up like if Taz had just been in there.  

Liquids in your checked luggage can be any size, but I'd recommend wrapping every liquid in a Ziploc in case it leaks! You CAN travel with aerosol cans but I wouldn't recommend it since with the altitude and pressure they can pop; but if you absolutely need to, wrap it in something that can absorb a leak then wrap a Ziploc or grocery bag around it as well. 

Tip #8: Pack as light as possible because remember that you'll be carrying your luggage from place to place! I HIGHLY recommend a spinner luggage! A spinner luggage is a luggage with four wheels that rotate 360-degrees and that you can push around easily unlike the two-wheeled luggage you have to tilt, carry and drag. There are definitely pros and cons about this luggage, so as always, this depends on your preference... but I LOVE it! 

I'm amazed with those who can pack everything in a small carry-on luggage because even after years of traveling I still need my checked luggage with me! I promise I've gotten better at packing light and folding clothes a certain way so I can make the best use of space, but being spontaneous I tend to change my plans last minute (I once turned a 7-day trip into 19-day trip...) so I come prepared for anything! 

This may blow your mind, but you can always buy products wherever you're traveling to... WHOA! This of course depending on where you’re traveling to since products may be more expensive there. 

Tip #9: Make photocopies of your passports or IDs. Keep a copy at home and another in your luggage. In case you lose your passport/ ID or you get your purse/ wallet stolen, this will be a lifesaver for you to have a return flight home. 

Tip #10: Download the apps for the respective airline you'll be flying with. This way you're able to track your plane, check in ahead of time and get immediate updates on any flight changes. 

Hopefully these travel tips were helpful! Please feel free to hit me up if you have a question and I'll get back at you as soon as possible, but... "If I'm not back in 5 minutes, just wait longer!"